Suchi

 

Athai is one of the most unique people that I know. She is ever smiling – I don’t remember her ever looking cross. Even when she is upset, she will say whatever she has to say in a pleasant manner. She is not one to mince words, but you cannot feel offended by her because you know that there is not a single mean bone in her. She is very talented and deeply intelligent, and her knowledge of music is truly astounding, but I have never once seen her boasting about it. She has very clear views about what is right and what is wrong, but I have never seen her being judgemental about other people. She is very generous, and if you say you like something, anything, in her wardrobe, or in her home, she will readily gift it to you. You have to be careful about what you appreciate, when she is around.  

She is a radical. She has the most ‘hatke’ views from anyone else of her generation, and the clarity of her thinking always impresses me. Even though she is married to a very traditional person, she has maintained her individual persona and not allowed her spirit to be dimmed at all. Their marriage has to be the strangest match ever made. She constantly questions his ways, but at the same time, she has supported Athimber in all his traditional practices. I think she knows as much of the Vedas as he does, and dare I say it - perhaps even more?!

When I was growing up in Delhi, I spent a lot of time with Athai. Both our families stayed in Safdarjung Enclave, and we were in each other’s homes all the time. I remember going to her house from music class, dance class, shopping trips, basically any excuse to visit them, especially because Arvind was a small kid and fun to play with. Athai always had some delicious snacks for us – bajji, bonda, fudge, special jams with bread. We had many enjoyable moments going together to the parks in Delhi, or music concerts, or for shopping. When they moved to Haridwar, we would take the night bus and land up in the morning at their place. It was always something we looked forward to, eating fresh bakery buns, going to the river, being at the club in the evening, or visiting the small forests nearby. I often wish we could stay in the same city, just like we used to. I would have known whom to go to, for tips on music, cooking, gardening, shopping, or just to have a good time listening to her prattle on – she prattles endlessly – because being with her is so refreshing.

Dear Athai, happy birthday, and may you have many more!

 

Athai had 3 amazing qualities, among others 

• Always smiling, even while complaining bitterly! 
• Her love for nature and music, that helped keep her in a childlike state of mind 
• Her hospitality,  quiet concern/affection for others . 

Our years in Delhi were always intertwined, going to concerts and parks etc. We were very often at each other's homes, either we at theirs, or they at ours - none of our present day formalities followed. We were one extended family. I am glad that she stayed nearly 2 weeks at my place before she passed away so I got to spend some time with her. I am glad Appa and Amma were back and she spent 2 days with them before leaving. I am glad she left when she did so that she was spared more pain and suffering, even though it is difficult to imagine her gone. Her voice keeps ringing in my head...